"No matter how much we are hurt, God knows about it, cares about it, and so, through his love, we are sometimes enabled to let go our hurts. But it is not only our hurts which we are required to give over but our wholeness too, it must all be his." 

-Walking on Water, Madeline L'Engle

Lord, Lord!

We need You.

We need to give our hurts to God to be truly deeply healed, but that requires giving our wholeness to God.

Maybe it's not so much the flesh that has fallen, but people's souls are mutilated.

Tormented...

by their own sin,

Writhing in pain inside of themselves,

Fighting against the self-imposed walls meant to protect

That's the thing about walls,

They keep things out, but they hold everything inside.

How to let go...

How to let go?

Break them.

Crush them.

but...

O so fragile the spirit of the man behind the stone facade!

O so fragile the aching heart that has so long been concealed!

Patched, and Re-patched 

but ever Ripping and Breaking open. 

The same wounds won't heal

the same bandages won't cover

even the bandages are rotting.

Waiting 

for some medication that really works!

for a Savior!

but who can stitch a soul?

Needles Pierce!

Who will be gentle with their fragile, fragile hearts?

You will draw them near

You will touch, and the pain may make them cringe

the burn of the cleansing may be too much for some to bear..

Be gentle.

Correct, but do spare our lives

Make right the hurts

Make clean the festering sores

Brick, by brick 

You take down the walls

Free us.

Shield us.

The only one with strong enough hands and a gentle enough touch.

such mercy coupled with such strength!

Teach my feeble hands to take care of Your children.

Touch me so I may touch them

Strengthen me so I may strengthen them.

Perfect love drives out fear

Show me that love and let that love flow through my every moment

every breath

I will not be afraid because you love me, 

Perfectly

Who we are =)

What is your favorite truth about who you are in Christ?

My favorite is that I am His bride!! That I'm treasured by Him just as I am, and He wants me, is such a phenomenal truth to me! 

I was just listening to Phil Wickham "Beautiful" and it inspired this question.

"When we arrive at eternity's shore

Where death is just a memory and tears are no more

We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring

Your bride will come together and we'll sing

You're beautiful"

"One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple." 

Psalm 27:4

White Funeral

I found a book at my sisters... "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. It's technically a daily devotional, but I was completely blown away and so I'm going to type out something I read today..

DO YOU WALK IN WHITE?

"Buried with Him...that...even so we also should walk in newness of life." Romans 6:4

No one enters into the experience of entire sanctification without going through a "white funeral"--the burial of the old life. If there has never been this crisis of death, sanctification is nothing more than a vision. There must be a "white funeral," a death that has only one resurrection--a resurrection into the life of Jesus Christ. Nothing can upset such a life, it is one with God for one purpose, to be a witness to Him.

Have you come to your last days really? You have come to them often in sentiment, but have you come to them really? You cannot go to your funeral in excitement, or die in excitement. Death means you stop being. Do you agree with God that you stop being the striving, earnest kind of Christian you have been? We skirt the cemetery and all the time refuse to go to death. It is not striving to go to death, it is dying--"baptized into His death."

Have you had your "white funeral," or are you sacredly playing the fool with your soul? Is there a place in your life marked as the last day, a place which the memory goes back with a chastened and extraordinarily grateful remembrance--"Yes, it was then, at that 'white funeral,' that I made an agreement with God."

"This is the will of God, even your sanctification." When you realize what the will of God is, you will enter into sanctification as naturally as can be. Are you willing to go through that "white funeral" now? Do you agree with Him that this is your last day on earth? 

The moment of agreement depends upon you.

Before the Altar

Journaling...

I really enjoy writing, but I came to a predicament today.

I view whatever I write as a sort of offering, I always want it to glorify God, so as I sat before the altar, trying to write something that honored His name... I started writing and this is what ended up on the page.

Before the Altar

I can create nothing that gives You the honor You are due.

My words are weak, frail, used too many times

even the best are devoid and stale.

No colors I possess can create even a glimpse of Your beauty.

The only tools I have, have come from You!

No melody I could compose would express what You are...

Everything in this world has it's own constraints, but You Lord are not constrained!

How do I express an infinite God, with finite tools?

I cannot.

You are Above.

You are Beyond.

You are More.

You are Greater.

than anything I have ever, or will ever know.

You cannot be contained.

You will not be contained.

You created, thought up, what each color would be

it's composition, how it would blend and fit with the rest of your creation.

You determined the vibration of each sound,

the ring of each note existed in You long before any man ever uttered a noise.

The harmony of the winds, the tones in each gust, it was You who fashioned every part.

Words fail.

Everything I create is a masterstudy 

It's a poorly sketched Mona Lisa handed back to DaVinci!

It's a black and white print of a dynamically colored flower garden!

My grays could never encompass the warm, orange depths of Your grace, the electric green of the new life I've been given, the startling yellow of Your joy, and the bright blue tones of Your love!

I cannot even show the blackest depths of my own heart and my sinful nature,

and oh, to fathom

the rich crimson of Your blood

covering

oozing over

and somehow

Obliterating

the black darkness

to reveal a blinding, magnificent, manifestation of Glory!

Whiter, than anything on earth.

Overflowing with light,

with colors of You so brightly shining that all optically visible color is no longer seen,

 in my mind alone I know the richness of Your Spirit dwells in this place.

What Glory.

...but You are Beyond.

Anything I can create in my mind, is a pathetic, second-rate Copy.

You are the original.

Nothing compares.

So how do I honor You?

I only have what You've given me... 

What do you ask? 

What do you want? 

I can give You nothing You do not already possess.

Myself.

I am already Yours.

You knew I would have nothing to give, so you slipped me something I could claim as mine for a moment just so I would have something to offer.

Life.

Take mine.

Whatever you ask Lord.

Worthy

"Whatever cost, whatever joy or sorrow I will worship still because of who You are" -Lyrics from Great is the Lord by Starfield

Who is the Lord?

Just a few I come up with...

Creator, Artist of the Universe, Author of life and every good thing, Omniscient God, Stronghold, Fortress, My Helper, My Savior, My Redeemer, My Lord, My Maker, My Lover, My Master, My Friend , Sovereign, Holy, King of Peace and Righteousness

"For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together." Colossians 1:16-17

God would be worthy of my devotion, my praise and my entire life, even if He chose not to save me from hell, simply because of who He is.

God's nature is that He is also loving and merciful, so He wouldn't leave me without a way to Him, but that does not change the fact that He would still be worthy! and much more worthy because He is also loving and merciful!

"What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?" Psalm 8:4

Think about the things the Lord has done

"The heavens declare the glory of God;

the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;

night after night they display knowledge.

There is no speech or language

where their voice is not heard."

Psalm 19:1-3

The intricate workings of this world are His designs, His art, an expression of who He is

He is above all things, yet He chooses each person and fashions them exactly the way He wants them. His nature demands our praise, but His nature also quietly, compassionately, draws us near. His nature requires our devotion, but His nature also draws us gently to a place on our knees where we understand His devotion to us. His nature commands perfection, but His nature is so merciful and loving, that He made a way for us to be perfect!

We are not worthy to even be near Him, and yet He loves us dearly, truly and deeply. He desires our hearts, and we belong to Him.

Jesus Wept; The Great Comforter

Currently, I'm experiencing a few difficulties with my health, nothing major, but it has caused me to think a bit. =)

I spent a lot of time at faithwalkers "counting the cost" and giving individual aspects of my life over to the Lord, and I've been tested in quite a few of those areas sooner than I was expecting, but I'll take it! 

(James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.")

To put this post in context I'll just mention that one of the main things that drew me to give my life to the Lord was a lot of pain. I never wanted to make anyone feel the way I felt. 

Than I realized I had been doing to God the very thing that had been done to me that hurt so badly. So this isn't really a new thought, but it's worth expanding upon. =) And it is good to check my own heart to see where my hope is, and where I am focusing.

The Lord's pain is deeper than you or I can imagine. 

Oftentimes I don't even understand the depths of my own emotions; they penetrate deeply into my soul! 

How much greater are the depths of God's heart? I can't even fathom what He must feel, can't even begin to understand the depths of His spirit... The Spirit He chose to place inside of me? Yes. The Spirit He chose to place inside of every Christian!

What a privilege 

When we break for people, and it's hard to understand why, this is why. This is why we feel so deeply, because God feels deeply, and He indwells us! We feel the depth of God's heart within us!

The Lord's heart is full of longing! He knows what it feels like to yearn for someone, to yearn to be close, to want desperately to touch, to want desperately for people to understand His touch!

What a comfort. Our God knows what we feel, and He stands for us, right next to us.

So, when you're in pain...

He knows it all, He feels it all with you. His heart is so connected with yours, He is so enthralled with You that He actually shares and feels your hurt with you..

He'll cradle your face and tell you He is using your circumstances to bring Him glory, and of course He will deliver you! But right now He needs you to receive His grace so other's can see his great, great power!

And ultimately... Isn't that what we all want? For others to see God's faithfulness and power through our lives? For others to be transformed and trust the Lord because they see how real He is?

Does my current comfort really matter in light of that?

My pain, seems so microscopic in light of eternity and what God could be using it for!

Even just one soul added to the Kingdom is worth more pain than could be fit into a single person's life time. 

2 Cor. 4:17 "For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison."

If we don't endure now, those who don't believe will, in eternal punishment. 

Holding back?

I Thessalonians 2:7-8

But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.

I Thessalonians 2:19 For what is our hope or joy or crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not you? For you are our glory and joy.

I Thessalonians 3:9 For what thanksgiving can we return to God for you for all the joy that we feel for your sake before our God.

How often do we actually feel this way about the people we are reaching out to and spending our time with? 

When Paul writes to the Thessalonians, he is writing to real people, people who he cares deeply about, you can almost feel his pain and longing to be with the people he is writing too.

This passage made me think about what it means to "affectionately desire" to be with people and be ready to share not only the gospel, but ourselves. 

God is love, we distinguish ourselves among the world because of Christ in us.. which is apparent through our Love!

We are the only real Love that the world will ever know.

Love requires us to be vulnerable, to be "ready to share ourselves" 

If we are the only real Love some people will ever know, we cannot afford to hold back ourselves.

Be ready to share the gospel, and along with that, your very life, which is no longer your own anyway, but has belonged to God since the day you were saved!

Sharing our lives, essentially means, sharing God.

He is our life.

He is our reality.