Monday, February 16, 2009

"No matter how much we are hurt, God knows about it, cares about it, and so, through his love, we are sometimes enabled to let go our hurts. But it is not only our hurts which we are required to give over but our wholeness too, it must all be his." 
-Walking on Water, Madeline L'Engle

Lord, Lord!

We need You.

We need to give our hurts to God to be truly deeply healed, but that requires giving our wholeness to God.


Maybe it's not so much the flesh that has fallen, but people's souls are mutilated.
Tormented...
by their own sin,
Writhing in pain inside of themselves,
Fighting against the self-imposed walls meant to protect

That's the thing about walls,
They keep things out, but they hold everything inside.

How to let go...
How to let go?

Break them.
Crush them.
but...
O so fragile the spirit of the man behind the stone facade!
O so fragile the aching heart that has so long been concealed!
Patched, and Re-patched 
but ever Ripping and Breaking open. 
The same wounds won't heal
the same bandages won't cover
even the bandages are rotting.
Waiting 
for some medication that really works!
for a Savior!

but who can stitch a soul?
Needles Pierce!
Who will be gentle with their fragile, fragile hearts?

You will draw them near
You will touch, and the pain may make them cringe
the burn of the cleansing may be too much for some to bear..

Be gentle.
Correct, but do spare our lives

Make right the hurts
Make clean the festering sores

Brick, by brick 
You take down the walls

Free us.
Shield us.

The only one with strong enough hands and a gentle enough touch.

such mercy coupled with such strength!

Teach my feeble hands to take care of Your children.
Touch me so I may touch them
Strengthen me so I may strengthen them.

Perfect love drives out fear
Show me that love and let that love flow through my every moment
every breath

I will not be afraid because you love me, 
Perfectly

Friday, February 13, 2009

Who we are =)

What is your favorite truth about who you are in Christ?


My favorite is that I am His bride!! That I'm treasured by Him just as I am, and He wants me, is such a phenomenal truth to me! 

I was just listening to Phil Wickham "Beautiful" and it inspired this question.

"When we arrive at eternity's shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we'll sing
You're beautiful"


"One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple." 
Psalm 27:4

Thursday, February 5, 2009

White Funeral

I found a book at my sisters... "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. It's technically a daily devotional, but I was completely blown away and so I'm going to type out something I read today..


DO YOU WALK IN WHITE?

"Buried with Him...that...even so we also should walk in newness of life." Romans 6:4

No one enters into the experience of entire sanctification without going through a "white funeral"--the burial of the old life. If there has never been this crisis of death, sanctification is nothing more than a vision. There must be a "white funeral," a death that has only one resurrection--a resurrection into the life of Jesus Christ. Nothing can upset such a life, it is one with God for one purpose, to be a witness to Him.
Have you come to your last days really? You have come to them often in sentiment, but have you come to them really? You cannot go to your funeral in excitement, or die in excitement. Death means you stop being. Do you agree with God that you stop being the striving, earnest kind of Christian you have been? We skirt the cemetery and all the time refuse to go to death. It is not striving to go to death, it is dying--"baptized into His death."
Have you had your "white funeral," or are you sacredly playing the fool with your soul? Is there a place in your life marked as the last day, a place which the memory goes back with a chastened and extraordinarily grateful remembrance--"Yes, it was then, at that 'white funeral,' that I made an agreement with God."
"This is the will of God, even your sanctification." When you realize what the will of God is, you will enter into sanctification as naturally as can be. Are you willing to go through that "white funeral" now? Do you agree with Him that this is your last day on earth? 
The moment of agreement depends upon you.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Before the Altar

Journaling...
I really enjoy writing, but I came to a predicament today.
I view whatever I write as a sort of offering, I always want it to glorify God, so as I sat before the altar, trying to write something that honored His name... I started writing and this is what ended up on the page.

Before the Altar

I can create nothing that gives You the honor You are due.
My words are weak, frail, used too many times
even the best are devoid and stale.
No colors I possess can create even a glimpse of Your beauty.
The only tools I have, have come from You!
No melody I could compose would express what You are...
Everything in this world has it's own constraints, but You Lord are not constrained!
How do I express an infinite God, with finite tools?
I cannot.
You are Above.
You are Beyond.
You are More.
You are Greater.
than anything I have ever, or will ever know.
You cannot be contained.
You will not be contained.
You created, thought up, what each color would be
it's composition, how it would blend and fit with the rest of your creation.
You determined the vibration of each sound,
the ring of each note existed in You long before any man ever uttered a noise.
The harmony of the winds, the tones in each gust, it was You who fashioned every part.

Words fail.

Everything I create is a masterstudy 
It's a poorly sketched Mona Lisa handed back to DaVinci!
It's a black and white print of a dynamically colored flower garden!
My grays could never encompass the warm, orange depths of Your grace, the electric green of the new life I've been given, the startling yellow of Your joy, and the bright blue tones of Your love!
I cannot even show the blackest depths of my own heart and my sinful nature,
and oh, to fathom
the rich crimson of Your blood
covering
oozing over
and somehow
Obliterating
the black darkness
to reveal a blinding, magnificent, manifestation of Glory!
Whiter, than anything on earth.
Overflowing with light,
with colors of You so brightly shining that all optically visible color is no longer seen,
 in my mind alone I know the richness of Your Spirit dwells in this place.
What Glory.

...but You are Beyond.
Anything I can create in my mind, is a pathetic, second-rate Copy.
You are the original.
Nothing compares.

So how do I honor You?
I only have what You've given me... 
What do you ask? 
What do you want? 
I can give You nothing You do not already possess.

Myself.
I am already Yours.

You knew I would have nothing to give, so you slipped me something I could claim as mine for a moment just so I would have something to offer.
Life.

Take mine.
Whatever you ask Lord.