Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Fight

A child needs boundaries in which to exist
Only within those boundaries can she be free

I fight.
I fight because I am comfortable
because I am afraid of what a change could mean
I kick and scream
refusing Your love

Your arms, secure around me as I fight to break lose the bonds that will bring me life
I squirm and struggle like a child used to getting her own way
and haven't I? I obey when I want to
when it is convenient

You are holding me back!
my sin gives me comfort
my sin makes me feel in control
but your arms around me as I scream are starting to show me

Restraining my flesh.
Your deepest expression of love
is to hold me back from that which is comfortable

I slowly start to understand
I am not a creature made to rule
I am not made to control

My sin has mastered me.

I am not in control
I never was.

I realize I am still fighting your embrace
I am exhausted from my attempted escape

I'm hurting myself
My legs still kicking
my arms
still thrashing
Still your grip remains strong
You will not let go

I can not fight
Your persistence
Your Love

Within your grasp
You are giving me the boundaries in which I can Live
Truly live.

I feel your arms still holding me
You are not holding to injure
my fight is what is causing me pain

My limbs finally rest within your grasp

I concede.
You have won me

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