Trust. Quietly, expectantly anticipating God's goodness, or Fear?

" Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
for my hope is in him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will not be shaken.
My victory and honor come from God alone.
He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.
O my people, trust in him at all times.
Pour out your heart to him,
for God is our refuge."

Psalm 62:5-8 (NLT)

It seems that before school starts each year God breaks me and shows me how weak I really am. So... These are the things God has put on my heart in the past few weeks...

Change is difficult, but without change the passion and excitement of following God is sucked from your life. In my experience, when a Christian becomes comfortable with their situation they slowly cease to step out in faith and therefore end up being less effective. As a wise great commission pastor once said in a sermon, "if you want to see God come through put yourself in a position where you're in real trouble if he doesn't." Comfort is dangerous.

I think that sometimes I have a difficult time distinguishing between comfort and support. Support is often times comfortable. I've been emotional exhausted because of all the changes going on in my life this summer. They're good changes, but hard changes. So my emotions of being jealous and upset bring on emotions of frustration because the first emotions can't be cured by logic. I've been falling apart and I couldn't figure out why, but I have come to the conclusion that I was lacking support because I was not searching for my support from the right source, the only Source.

I have a tendency to put unreal pressure on the people closest to me to hold me together during difficult times. I want those people to act as funnels for me, and have them feed me strength from the Lord, however that is not only impossible, but it is actually idolatry.

Jesus Christ is the one mediator. We have access to the Father through Jesus alone! When I treat people in a manner that asks them to lead me to the Father it is putting the redeemed in the place of the Redeemer!

(I do believe that other people can direct me towards Jesus and in turn to the Father, but I am pointing out that in my life I have the tendency to ask others to do the work for me instead of actually seeking out the Father for myself.)

I want people to be my constant, but people change!

God must be my only constant, my only source. He is the only one who has the ability to enable me to live a life pleasing to Him!

The second thought I have been thinking about quite a bit in the last two days is how easy it is for me to freak out about things.

The world is utterly chaotic. People change. Relationships change as the people in them change. People's attitudes, likes, and even personalities change. Growth, which is commonly accepted as a good thing, is change! Many of the changes I've been experiencing seem to be so good for other people and so detrimental to my life. Yes, this is quite a selfish point of view. But I've felt left behind in a lot of ways and very alone. The devil likes to feed me these kind of lies, but this is what God has given me to overcome them!

God has promised me that he loves me. He loves me. He loves me.

He is also in control, whether or not I feel like it. Nothing happens outside of His will, because He is a master designer and planned all of this before the world began.

And finally, God is good. God = good. It is not just a characteristic, it is His very nature. He cannot be bad, because He is only good!

There is no problem that I can freak out about if I really believe what the Bible says about my God! So instead of coming at a problem and thinking, "Oh my goodness, what am I going to do when _____ happens and I can't handle it, and I'm alone and I feel deserted!" I can approach a problem with an attitude of, "I know that you are in control, I know you are good, and you've promised to take care of me, so I am excited to see how you are going to work this for your glory and my good!"

I have found that when I decide to trust in God's character I have an unreal amount of joy!! And the things that caused me so much pain, and all this insecurity are the things that I am the most excited about! I get to hold onto my Father's hand as He leads me into something new!! New friendships, new depths in my current relationships, and new trials that continue to refine me.

Most of all I am excited to understand how deep my Father's love is for me.

I have come to understand more of my own wretchedness and there is more than enough love pouring into my life from my Father to cover anything I could ever do!!

"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39 (NLT)

I am daily convinced more and more that He is the only reality and the only Truth.

Praise God!

A thought to meditate on

"The vicarious life of your Lord is to become your vital simple life; the way He worked and lived among men must be the way He lives in you." -Oswald Chambers What does this mean in your life?

Paradox

I thought this was phenomenal and it really challenged and encouraged me. It is from Oswald Chambers daily devotional My Utmost for His Highest. SOMETHING MORE ABOUT HIS WAYS
He comes where He commands us to leave. "When Jesus had made an end of commanding his disciples, he departed thence to teach and to preach in their cities." Matthew 11:1. If when God said "Go," you stayed because you were so concerned about your people at home, you robbed them of the teaching and preaching of Jesus Christ Himself. When you obeyed and left all consequences to God, the Lord went into your city to teach; as long as you would not obey, you were in the way. Watch where you begin to debate and to put what you call duty in competition with your Lord's commands. "I know He told me to go, but then my duty was here;" that means you do not believe that Jesus means what He says. He teaches where He instructs us not to. "Master, . . . let us make three tabernacles." Are we playing the spiritual amateur providence in other lives? Are we so noisy in our instruction of others that God cannot get anywhere near them? We have to keep our mouths shut and our spirits alert. God wants to instruct us in regard to His Son, He wants to turn our times of prayer into mounts of transfiguration, and we will not let Him. When we are certain of the way God is going to work, He will never work in that way any more. He works where He sends us to wait. "Tarry ye . . . until . . ." Wait on God and He will work, but don't wait in spiritual sulks because you cannot see an inch in front of you! Are we detached enough from our own spiritual hysterics to wait on God? To wait is not to sit with folded hands, but to learn to do what we are told. These are phases of His ways we rarely recognize.

James 3:13-18

Just some thoughts I've been meditating on today =)

"Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."

James 3:13-18

"Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom"

Show your wisdom by your good conduct --> not to attract attention to the things you're doing, but act meekly. Wisdom has power but meekness means using that power in a gracious way so as to not attraction attention or praise to oneself.

"But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth."

What is true about you? Do not act like you're more important than you are. It should be evident from your conduct that you love the truth.

"This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice."

Jealousy and selfishness destroy everything good.

Seeking your own good above others is demonic.

Seeking your own good will bring about "every vile practice."

"But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere."

God's wisdom is pure

The world's wisdom says, "whatever feels good must be right"

God's wisdom is peaceable

The world's wisdom is proud and selfish

God's wisdom is gentle

The world's wisdom is harsh to those unable to work the system

God's wisdom is open to reason

The world's wisdom is afraid to be wrong

God's wisdom is full of mercy

The world's wisdom does not understand true mercy

God's wisdom is full of good fruits

The world's wisdom brings about depraved societies

God's wisdom is impartial

The world's wisdom says to treat those who you can get something from better than those without anything to offer

God's wisdom is sincere

The world's wisdom is fickle and ever changing

"And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."

Righteousness is produced by peacemaking

making peace, sows seeds of righteousness that when nurtured will bring about even more righteous behavior

Divided

These are some lyrics I just typed up... Just what I've been praying and thinking lately. I'd like to hear your thoughts on them to maybe improve them or if any verses come to mind as you read. Pretty rough version.. just thought I'd share because it expresses what I've been thinking and learning recently.

My heart is divided and I cannot unite it

I need your truth to ignite my passion your word should move me to action, Lord

I need your sight to open my eyes to who I am

I’ve been searching and calling I’ve been running and falling

I need your grace to enable me I know I’m forgiven, free, Lord

I need to believe the things that you say are true

And it’s a fight

It’s a struggle

To defeat the enemy’s lies

But my Savior has given me weapons and I will not compromise

Though my heart may rage within me, my purpose remains clear

I will choose to glorify you even when no one is near

You have promised a crown of life for those who stay strong

I am claiming the promise that your plan goes beyond this

I need your light to show me the way I know I’ll meet you someday, Lord

Show me how you give new strength to those who seek

The Great Probing

I share these because they have been a great blessing in my life. I hope you gain as much encouragement from them as I do! =) July 9th.

"Ye cannot serve the Lord." Joshua 24:19 Have you the slightest reliance on anything other than God? Is there a remnant of reliance left on any natural virtue, any set of circumstances? Are you relying on yourself in any particular in this new proposition which God has put before you? That is what the probing means. It is quite true to say - "I cannot live a holy life," but you can decide to let Jesus Christ make you holy. "Ye cannot serve the Lord God"; but you can put yourself in the place where God's almighty power will come through you. Are you sufficiently right with God to expect Him to manifest His wonderful life in you? "Nay, but we will serve the Lord." It is not an impulse, but a deliberate commitment. You say - But God can never have called me to this, I am too unworthy, it can't mean me. It does mean you, and the weaker and feebler you are, the better. The one who has something to trust in is the last one to come anywhere near saying - "I will serve the Lord." We say - "If I really could believe!" The point is - If I really will believe. No wonder Jesus Christ lays such emphasis on the sin of unbelief. "And He did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief." If we really believed that God meant what He said - what should we be like! Dare I really let God be to me all that He says He will be?

My Utmost for His Highest

Excerpt from good ol' Ozzie.

Are You Obsessed by Something?

"Who is the man that fears the Lord?"

—Psalm 25:12

Are you obsessed by something? You will probably say, "No, by nothing," but all of us are obsessed by something— usually by ourselves, or, if we are Christians, by our own experience of the Christian life. But the psalmist says that we are to be obsessed by God. The abiding awareness of the Christian life is to be God Himself, not just thoughts about Him. The total being of our life inside and out is to be absolutely obsessed by the presence of God. A child’s awareness is so absorbed in his mother that although he is not consciously thinking of her, when a problem arises, the abiding relationship is that with the mother. In that same way, we are to "live and move and have our being" in God ( Acts 17:28  ), looking at everything in relation to Him, because our abiding awareness of Him continually pushes itself to the forefront of our lives.

If we are obsessed by God, nothing else can get into our lives— not concerns, nor tribulation, nor worries. And now we understand why our Lord so emphasized the sin of worrying. How can we dare to be so absolutely unbelieving when God totally surrounds us? To be obsessed by God is to have an effective barricade against all the assaults of the enemy.

"He himself shall dwell in prosperity . . ." ( Psalm 25:13 ). God will cause us to "dwell in prosperity," keeping us at ease, even in the midst of tribulation, misunderstanding, and slander, if our "life is hidden with Christ in God" (Colossians 3:3). We rob ourselves of the miraculous, revealed truth of this abiding companionship with God. "God is our refuge . . ." ( Psalm 46:1  ). Nothing can break through His shelter of protection.

I just thought I'd share this because it was fantastic.